Angry Jokes / Recent Jokes

A woman went to her shrink because she was having severe problems with her sex life. The psychiatrist asked her many questions but did not seem to be getting a clear picture of her problems. Finally he asked, "Do you ever watch your husband's face while you are having sex?" "Well, yes, I actually did once." "And how did your husband look?" "Angry, very angry."

At this point the psychiatrist felt that he was really getting somewhere and he said, "Well that's very interesting, we must look into this further.

Now tell me, you say that you have only seen your husband's face once during sex; that seems somewhat unusual. How did it occur that you saw his face that time?"

"He was looking through the window at us!"

a man walked into a bar and said, hey everyone, the drinks are on me, and your included too bartender. after the bartender and everyone else had a round of drinks, the bartender give him the bill. the man said, oh i don't have any money today, I'll have to pay you later. the bartender became very angry and threw the man out of the bar. about a month later, the same man walked into the bar and said, the drinks are on me everybody including you bartender. after everyone had their drink, the bartender give him the bill, again the man said, IM broke today bartender, I'll have to pay you later. again the bartender became very angry and threw the man out of the bar. another month later, the same man walked into the bar and said, hey everybody, the drinks are on me. The bartender said, hey what about me? The man said forget it buddy, you get mean when you drink.

July 18
I just tried to connect to America online, which I've heard is the best online service I can get. I can't connect, I don't know what is wrong.
July 19
Some guy at the tech support center says my computer needs a modem. I don't see why. He's just trying to cheat me. How dumb does he think I am?
July 20
I bought the modem, I couldn't figure out where it goes though, it wouldn't fit in the monitor or the printer. I'm confused.
July 21
I finally got the modem in and hooked up. A three year old next door did it for me.
July 22
The three year old kid next door hooked me up to America online for me. He's so smart.
July 23
What the heck is the internet? I thought I was on America Online, not this internet thingy. I'm confused.
July 24
The three year old kid next door showed me how to use this America Online stuff. He must be a genius at least compared to me.
July 25
I tried to use chat today. I tried to talk into my computer more...

A man left for work one Friday afternoon, but since it was payday, he stayed out the entire weekend partying with the boys and spending his entire paycheck instead of just going straight home. When he finally appeared at home on Sunday night, he was confronted by a very angry wife and a two-hour tirade befitting his actions. Finally his wife stopped the nagging and simply asked, "How would you like it if you didn't see me for two or three days?"
The man replied, "That would be fine with me."
Monday went by and he didn't see his wife. Tuesday and Wednesday came and went with the same results. Come Thursday, the swelling went down just enough that he could see her a little bit out of the corner of his left eye.

A skeleton joke
What did the skeleton say to his girlfriend?
I love every bone in your body!

A werewolf joke
Why did the small werewolf bite the womans ankle?
Because he couldn’t reach any higher!

A werewolf joke
What happened when the werewolf chewed a bone for an hour?
When he got up he only had three legs!

A witch joke
What did one witch say to another when they left the cinema?
Do you want to walk home or shall we take the broom!

A witch joke
What makes more noise than an angry witch?
Two angry witches!

A skeleton joke
Why don’t skeletons play music in church?
They have no organs!

A skeleton joke
Why wasn’t the naughty skeleton afraid of the police?
Because he knew they couldn’t pin anything on him!

There was an Irishman who always wanted a Rolls Royce, fortunately he won the lottery and he decided to buy one with all this money. So he decided to go and have a drive in his new car, he was driving along the motorway and suddenly he saw a Hitchhiker, he pulled over and let the Hitchhiker get in. Half way through the journey the Hitchhiker pulled a gun out on the Irishman, he told him to get out the car, so the Irishman did. The Hitchhiker drew a circle on the floor with a piece of chalk and said
"Stand there at all times". So the Irishman did, the Hitchhiker pulled out a baseball bat and started hitting the car with it, the Irishman laughed and giggled, the Hitchhiker asked why he was laughing, complete silence. Then the Hitchhiker got angry so he started to smash the windows, the Irishman laughed and giggled again, the Hitchiker asked why he was laughing, complete silence again. This time the Hitchhiker got really angry and blew the car up, the Irishman laughed his more...

An angry wife was complaining about her husband spending so much time at the pub, so one night he took her along."Whatll ya have?" he asked."Oh, I dont know. The same as you, I suppose," she replied. So the husband ordered a couple of Jack Daniels and threw his down in one gulp. His wife watched him, then took a sip from her glass and immediately spit it out. "Yuck, thats nasty poison!" she spluttered. "I dont know how you can drink this stuff!""Well, there you go," cried the husband. "And you think Im out enjoying myself every night!"