Adjust Jokes / Recent Jokes
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is
recorded in your area.
4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your
bed springs.
6 You've both gone down one clothing size.
7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's
nothing left to adjust.
8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag.
9. Boy, are you hungry!
10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny
at the same time.
1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge. 2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies. 3. An earthquake of 3. 4 on the Richter Scale is recorded in your area. 4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you. 5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs. 6 You've both gone down one clothing size. 7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's nothing left to adjust. 8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag. 9. Boy, are you hungry! 10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.
December 1 Blanch carcass from Thanksgiving turkey. Apply gold leaf, turn upside down and use as a sleigh to hold Christmas Cards.
December 2 Have Mormon Tabernacle Choir record outgoing Christmas message for answering machine.
December 3 Using candlewick and handgilded miniature pine cones, fashion cat-o-nine-tails. Flog Gardener.
December 4 Repaint Sistine Chapel ceiling in ecru, with mocha trim.
December 5 Grind lenses for new eyeglasses.
December 6 Fax family Christmas newsletter to Pulitzer committee for consideration.
December 7 Debug Windows' 98
December 10 Align carpets to adjust for curvature of Earth.
December 11 Lay Faberge egg.
December 12 Take Dog apart. Disinfect. Reassemble.
December 13 Collect dentures. They make excellent pastry cutters, particularly for decorative pie crusts.
December 14 Install plumbing in gingerbread house.
December 15 more...
1. Your Mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An Earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter scale is recorded in your area.
4. The cat is exhausted from watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your bed springs.
6. You have both gone down one clothing size.
7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. Threre is nothing to adjust.
8. You have to breath into a brown paper bag.
9. Boy, are you hungry.
10. Youre absoulutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny at the same time.
A lady goes to the dentist. In the chair, the dentist notices a little brown spot on one of her teeth.
"Aha, cavity! I'll have to drill this one out!" says the dentist. "Oh no, I'd rather have a child!!!" cries the lady.
"In that case, I will have to adjust the chair first" replies the dentist.