"10 ways to know you 've had wild sex" joke

1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is
recorded in your area.
4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to adjust your
bed springs.
6 You've both gone down one clothing size.
7. You cancel your chiropractic appointment. There's
nothing left to adjust.
8. You have to breathe into a brown paper bag.
9. Boy, are you hungry!
10. You're absolutely satisfied yet uncontrollably horny
at the same time.

What do these automobile acronyms actually mean?

Here goes….
AUDI: A Used Dodge Incognito
BMW: Bavarian Money Waster
BUICK: Big Ugly Idiot`s Cat Killer
CHEVROLET: Can Hear Every Valve Rattle, Oil Leaks Every Time
CHEVY: Cheapest Heap Ever more...

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One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...

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A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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At the National Art Gallery in Dublin, Ireland, a husband and wife were staring at a portrait that had them completely confused.

The painting depicted three black men totally naked sitting on a park bench. Two of the figures had black willies, but the one in the more...

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