Q. What is the difference between Government Bonds and Men?
A. Government Bonds mature.
Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes one liners?
A. So that men could understand them!
Q: Why is it good that there are female astronauts?
A: When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.
A man was riding his Segway and some big 'macho' guy with a really ditsy girl hanging off his arm stopped him. The man put his cigarette in his mouth (the cool way, you know, with thumb & forefinger), took a deep breath in and said, "You're gonna get fat." So, Segway owner put his thumb and forefinger up to his mouth, took a deep breath, and replied with, "You're gonna get cancer." Macho guy stared at Segway owner with a 'how dare you' type of look while his girl had more of a confused 'I don't get it' type of face. Segway owner just smiled and rode off. :)