lol Jokes / Recent Jokes

Ten ways to know that you''re addicted to your computer:-

10) When you begin to laugh you yell, LOL.

9) You tell your computer you love it, more than you tell your spouse.

8) Your house catches on fire and you run home to save your computer before your family.

7) Your computer is your ONLY friend.

6) You think cyber sex is better than real sex.

5) You type only in short hand (YO ROFLMAO I''LL BRB B4 U RTFM LOL).

4) You type 40 words a minute with two fingers.

3) Your twins are named RAM & ROM.

2) After breaking from your computer, you realize you have gained 40lbs, have grown hair in unusual places, your spouse and kids have left you, and Windows 3. 1 is outdated.

1) YOU READ STUFF LIKE THIS!

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies... I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses. I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband). I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own. I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail. I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person. I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... okay, monthly then... or maybe... I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hardto estimate since I'm not a clock watcher. When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support." When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it. I will think of a password other than "password." I will stop checking my e-mail at 3: 00 in the morning... 4: 30 is much more more...

You Know It's Time To Turn Your Computer Off When... A friend calls and says, "How are you? Your phones have been busy for a year!" You forgot how to work the TV remote control. You see something funny and scream, "LOL, LOL." You meet the mailman at the curb and swear he said YOU'VE GOT MAIL. You sign off and your screen says you were on for 3 days and 45 minutes. You fall asleep, but instead of dreams you get IMs. You buy a laptop and a cell phone so you can have AOL in your car. Tech support calls YOU for help. You beg your friends to get an account so you can "hang out." You get a second phone line just to call out for pizza. You purchase a vanity car license plate with your screen name on it. You say "he he he he" or "heh heh heh" instead of laughing. You say "SCROLL UP" when someone asks what it was you said. You sneak away to your computer when everyone goes to sleep. You talk on the phone with the same person you are more...

New Year's Resolutions for Internet Junkies...

I will try to figure out why I *really* need 9 e-mail addresses.
I will stop sending e-mail to my wife (husband).
I resolve to work with neglected children -- my own.
I will answer my snail mail with the same enthusiasm with which I answer my e-mail.
I will stop sending e-mail, ICQ, Instant Messages and be on the phone at the same time with the same person.
I resolve to back up my 12GB hard drive daily... well, once a week... okay, monthly then... or maybe...
I will spend less than one hour a day on the Internet. This, of course, will be hard
to estimate since I'm not a clock watcher.
When I hear "Where do you want to go today?" I will not reply "MS Tech Support."
When I hear a funny joke I will not reply, "LOL... LOL!"
I will read the manual... just as soon as I can find it.
I will think of a password other than "password."
I more...

I was sitting in a chat room,
Feeling mildly amused,
When I saw something strange,
That left me all confused.

Someone typed a word,
(As far as I could tell)
But I had never seen it.
What is an LOL?

Then the plot got thicker,
More words I didn’t know,
A person started typing,
The word LMAO.

I sat there in amazement,
I felt like a dumb toad.
Could it be, these people,
Were speaking in a code?

That’s when I looked closer.
And found the subtle clue.
I figured out this code
And I’ll share it now, with you.

LOL is three little words,
That seem, to me, quite shady.
LOL is a command,
The words, “Lean Over Lady? ”

LMAO, was more obscure,
It made me sweat my socks!
LMAO is a command,
Meaning, “Leave Me Alone, Ox! ”

ROFL was harder still,
I found it rather sickening.
It’s a discreet way to more...

lebron james: hey babe after the miami heat basketball game vs the mavericks for the championship what do you wanna do

Dwyane Wade: i was thinking to work at kfc and after that i was thinking for sex is that ok hunny ?

lebron james:yeah i guess is ok because i feel like i wanna get fucked up with u tonight

Dwyane Wade:thats good but first show me your ring and ill show you mine

lebron james : i dont have one:( sorry do you

Dwyane Wade: :( nope me neither ifeel like i wanna cry in your arms hunny

lebron james : me too :(

What team is Sachin most likely to coach after retirement?
The Grade 5 ladies college teachers team
Who will be the next man of the match in the Indian Cricket Team?
The 100% guranteed newcomers of the Indian Cricket Team... lol
Who is the next person to retire from the Cricket Team?
All, except for Sachin, he will become the water boy
90% of the next Indian Cricket Team will not OWN houses or businesses in India, even if they do they better have them insured.. lol
What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Indian Innings.
Where do Indian batsmen perform there best?
In Advertisements.
When would Sachin have 100 runs against his name?
When he is bowling, and in training matches
What is the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Indian batsmen?
The walk back to the pavilion.
How to increase the chances of Indian batsmen playing out the entire 50 overs?
Try giving them two overs more...