"You Know You Live in Connecticut When..." joke

You Know You're From Connecticut When...
You have hiked up a big hill or small mountain at least once for a keg party.
You never went to a bar in high school.
You thought that the only highways were 91 and 84.
You thought everyone couldn't buy beer after 8 pm
You actually thought that Hartford was big
You or someone you know has attended UCONN
You drive a JETTA
You still think that the Whalers are cool.
You have been to Misquamicut and to that little hot dog place.
There is a farm within miles of your house
You thought bars were really for people over 21
Your high school thanksgiving football game was the highlight of your school year.
You don't have an accent when you talk.
You have known at least 2 preppy rich kids from Fairfield who listen to Phish.
You love Hilton Kaderli and your mom cried when he retired.
UConn basketball rules and no one can tell you different
You have deer in your backyard.
You didn't drink or do drugs until 10th grade.
You still don't understand why people say that Connecticut is the richest state.
Your best friend went to Central, Western, Eastern and finally Manchester Community College.
Your mom works at Travelers and your dad works at Pratt and Whitney.
You have been drunk at the Meadows and don't remember the concert.
You go to Riverside at least once a summer.
Your parents actually care about the Governor, the Patriots coming to Hartford, the lights at Christmas in Hartford & Channel 3 news.
You have a UCONN flag outside of your house year round.
You think New Jersey was a toxic waste dump.
You hang out at Denny's.
You've partied at bonfires.
You have at least one friend with a pickup.
You think everyone works tobacco in the summer.
You think Old Lyme is a shore town.
You've been to Cape Cod.
You think the Connecticut River is endless.
The town diner is the only place open after midnight.
You have at least 4 friends who drive Jeep Grand Cherokees.
You root for all the New York sports teams.
If anybody asks, you're from just outside of New York.
You've never looked at a public bus schedule.
You have both girlfriends and guyfriends with the same name as you.
You go to the diner late night to post party.
You think New Haven is the worst ghetto you've ever seen.
You can proudly tell an outsider about Nutmeg.
You weekend either on the Cape or Rhode Island at a summer home.
You have said, " I'm in a good location... Between both Boston and New York."
You can carry on a conversation about Mike Liut, Torrie Robertson, and the Brass Bonanza.
You have to explain Cow Tipping to people from out of state.
When you go to a real city, you sincerely feel bad for every poor / homeless person you see.
You get pissed at anyone who doesn't know how to drive in the snow.
You can name all the members of the UCONN men's and women's basketball teams.
You still can't find your way in Hartford (except for that bar area near Union Station.)
You hold the door open for someone and they don't say "Thank You."
You own a golden or a lab (used to...)
You own real Oakley's.
You only know Westbrook and Clinton because they have good outlets.
You don't think you're a yuppie, but the rest of the country does.
You only ski in Vermont or out West.
Your mother is the head of the PTA.
There is absolutely nothing to do in the winter.
You live twenty minutes from either an Abercrombie & Fitch, J. Crew, or GAP.
You sail, or know someone who does.
You don't understand why everyone else has not been to Europe.
You can't get through the week with out a Coffee Coolata.
Your family owns more cars than legal drivers.
School attire is a North Face fleece jacket, a North Face Fleece or L.L. Bean back pack, a plaid shirt, khakis, and Doc Martens.
Summer footwear is either Reefs or Birks.
You carry your keys on a carabiner,

Two guys walk into a bar and sit down at a table.
The barkeep comes over to them and asks, "What can I serve you gentlemen?"
One of them says to the barkeep, "I'll bet you a pitcher of you finest beer that I can lick my eye."
The barkeep says, more...

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A fireman came home from work one day and told his wife and said, "You know, we have a wonderful system at the fire station:
"BELL 1 rings and we all put on our jackets.
"BELL 2 rings and we all slide down the pole.
"BELL 3 rings and we're on the more...

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A wealthy merchant of 84 married a 25-year-old fashion model. They had a wonderful honeymoon in Switzerland but, unfortunately, the old boy suffered a coronary and was hospitalised.
When his young wife came to see him, the old man said, "Sweetheart, your future has been more...

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Prior to her trip to Texas, Buffy (a New Yorker) confided to her sorority sisters she had three goals for her trip to the Lone Star State. She wanted to taste some real Texas Barbeque, take in a bona fide rodeo and have sex with a real cowboy. Upon her return, her sorority more...

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An old snake went to his doctor and told him, "Doc, I think I need something for my eyes. I don't seem to see very well nowadays."
The doctor fixed him up with a pair of glasses and told him to return in a couple of weeks for a check up.
When he returned two more...

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