"Women - Ways To Drive Men Crazy!" joke

One day God came to Adam to pass on some news. "I've got some good news and some bad news", God said.Adam looked at God and said, "Well, give me the good news first."Smiling, God explained, "I've got two new organs for you.One is called a brain. It will allow you to be very intelligent, create new things, and have intelligent conversations with Eve.The other organ I have for you is called a penis. It will allow you to reproduce your now intelligent life form and populate this planet. Eve will be very happy that you now have this organ to give her children.Adam, very excited, exclaimed, "These are great gifts you have given to me. What could possibly be bad news after such great tidings?"God looked upon Adam and said with great sorrow, "The bad news is that when I created you, I only gave you enough blood to operate these organs one at a time."

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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10. Decorating the house (boarding up windows).
9. Dragging out boxes that haven't been used since last season (camping gear, flashlights).
8. Last minute shopping in crowded stores.
7. Regular TV shows pre-empted for "specials".
6. Family coming to more...

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