"What do Michael and Gaylord Perry have in common?" joke

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.