"Vow of Silence" joke

A man joins a monastery and although he takes a vow of silence, he is permitted to say two words every seven years.
After the first seven years have past, the elders bring him in and ask him for his two words.
"Cold floors," he says. The elders nod and send him away.
After seven more years, they bring him in and ask for his two words.
"Lousy food," he mumbles. Again, the elders nod and send him away.
Another seven years pass and the elders bring him in and once more ask him for his two words.
"I quit," he says, clearing his throat.
"We're not surprised," says the elders, "you've done nothing but complain since you got here."

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

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Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

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Make it idiot proof and someone will make a better idiot.

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1. Your mattress has turned into a giant sponge.
2. It takes five minutes to unknot your bodies.
3. An earthquake of 3.4 on the Richter Scale is
recorded in your area.
4. The cat's exhausted from just watching you.
5. A trampoline company has to come to more...

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