"Veggies" joke
ALL DIET FAQ's answered...
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a lamb eat? Leaves and corn. And what are these? Vegetables.
So a kabab is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain?
Eat chicken.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Its only the misconception, that narrow minded people have. So, Bottoms up!
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!! Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO... Cocoa beans... another vegetable! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets...
(name withheld) Minnetonka, MN 55345Superior Health Insurance ATTN: Claims Review 1423 W. 90th St. New York, NY 05016Dear Sir:This letter is in response to your recent letter requesting a more detailed explanation concerning my recent internment at Methodist Hospital. more...
One day the Lone Ranger and his companion Tonto were walking through the desert when Tonto suddenly stopped, bent down to the ground and said, - "Buffalo Come!"
And the Lone Ranger said, "How do you know Tonto?"
Tonto replied, - "Ear stuck to more...
A farmer named Muldoon lived alone in the countryside with a pet dog which he loved and doted on. After many long years of companionship, the dog finally died so Muldoon went to the parish priest:
"Father, my dear old dog is dead. Could you be saying a mass for the more...
During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...
A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert. "What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important things were suggested such as food, more...