"Two Italians and a Pollock" joke

Two Italians and a Pollock go into a bar. The Pollock doesn't have a
girlfriend and the Italians feel sorry for him. They explain to him
that if he studies their moves, he'll be able to pick up women.
So the first Italian walks up to this blonde chick and goes,"Hey
baby, ya' wanna' leave here?"
She goes,"I'd love to-but we can't go to my house. My parents will
kill me if they see me with you."
He goes,"That's okay. We'll go to my house," and they leave.
The second Italian says,"That's nothing. Watch me in action and
learn!"
So he walks up to some blonde and says,"Hey baby, ya' wanna' leave
here?"
She replies,"I'd love to-but we can't go to my house. My husband
will kill me if he sees me with you."
He says,"That's okay. We'll go to my house," and they leave.
Now the Pollock's alone and he says to himself,"I think this looks
pretty easy. I think I'll try it."
So the Pollock walks up to this brunette and says,"Hey baby, how do
ya' wanna' leave here?"
She goes,"I'd love to-but I can't. I'm on my menstrual cycle."
He says, "That's okay. We'll go on my moped."

Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)

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A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

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While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a more...

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Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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