"Two Italians and a Pollock" joke

Two Italians and a Pollock go into a bar. The Pollock doesn't have a
girlfriend and the Italians feel sorry for him. They explain to him
that if he studies their moves, he'll be able to pick up women.
So the first Italian walks up to this blonde chick and goes,"Hey
baby, ya' wanna' leave here?"
She goes,"I'd love to-but we can't go to my house. My parents will
kill me if they see me with you."
He goes,"That's okay. We'll go to my house," and they leave.
The second Italian says,"That's nothing. Watch me in action and
learn!"
So he walks up to some blonde and says,"Hey baby, ya' wanna' leave
here?"
She replies,"I'd love to-but we can't go to my house. My husband
will kill me if he sees me with you."
He says,"That's okay. We'll go to my house," and they leave.
Now the Pollock's alone and he says to himself,"I think this looks
pretty easy. I think I'll try it."
So the Pollock walks up to this brunette and says,"Hey baby, how do
ya' wanna' leave here?"
She goes,"I'd love to-but I can't. I'm on my menstrual cycle."
He says, "That's okay. We'll go on my moped."

Two cats: Felix & Un-deux-trois, decided to have a race to see who could swim across the river first.Guess who won? Felix! Because Un-deux-trois cat sank.
(Un deux trois quatre cinq)

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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Three ministers - a Presbyterian, a Methodist, and a Baptist - and their wives were on a cruise. A tidal wave came up and swamped the ship; they all drowned, and before long, they were standing before St. Peter.

First came the Presbyterian and his wife. St. Peter more...

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2 Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift.
He tells them he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20, more...

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Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan make your garden grow better! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan disorderly again! Knock Knock
Who's there!
Duncan!
Duncan who?
Duncan buscuits in more...

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