"Trial: pregnant woman versus man on bus" joke

This is from an actual trial in the UK
A young woman who was several months pregnant boarded a bus.
When she noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling humiliated on account of her condition. She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.
She moved again and then on her fourth move he burst out laughing. She had him arrested.
The case came before the court and the young man was asked why he acted in such a manner. His reply was:
When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help noticing she was pregnant. She sat under an advertisement which read "Coming Soon: The Gold Dust Twins", then she moved under one that read "Sloans Liniments remove swelling".
I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving advertisement which read "William's Stick Did The Trick".
Then I could not control myself any longer when on the fourth move she sat under an advertisement which read "Dunlop Rubber would have prevented this accident".
The case was dismissed.

Procrastination is like masturbation...
Sure it feels good at first, but then you realize you're only screwing yourself.


Sex is like air. It's not important unless you aren't getting any.


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A few choice 1-Liners.

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I drive more...


The only time a pie chart is appropriate is at a baker's convention.

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