"These Two Fleas..." joke

These two fleas are sitting in Florida. One is shivering like crazy, saying "that has got to be the coldest ride I have ever had in my life!"
"How did you get here?" asks the other flea.
"I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle down the freeway."
"That is no way to travel to Florida" says the flea."Here is what you do. Go to the airport and find a lounge. Have a sip of someone's drink so you are relaxed. Find a really pretty girl and crawl up her leg and under her dress.G o inside her panties and you will find a nice warm place to curl up and fall asleep. The next thing you know, you are in Florida! Remember that for next time.We will get together next year and you can tell me how it went!"
The following year, the two fleas are back in Florida and the first
one is shivering like crazy. "That is the coldest f*%#in' ride to
Florida I have had in my life!!!"
"What happened to the advice I gave you last year?"
"I did everything you told me to do! I went to the airport and found the lounge. I had a sip of someone's drink and I was good and relaxed. I saw this gorgeous girl so I crawled up her leg and under her dress. I went into her panties and found this warm, furry place to curl up and fall asleep. The next thing I knew, I was in the moustache of some guy riding his motorcycle down the freeway!!"

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

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What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

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