"There were 3 lads" joke
There were 3 lads called shit, fuckoff and manners. Shit gets run over so fuckoff runs to the police station
"Quick, my friends been run over" He shouts
"Ok calm down" says the policeman. "Wots ur name?"
"Fuckoff"
"Wots ur name"
"Fuckoff" He says again
"Where are your manners?" Says the policeman
Fuckoff replies
"Outside picking shit up off the floor!"
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
Dave works hard at the plant and spends most evenings bowling or playing basketball at the gym. His wife thinks he is pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club.
The doorman at the club greets them and says,' Hey Dave, how ya more...
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...