"The weather out there..." joke

Nate: "Hey, what's the weather like out there?"
Kate: "I don't know. I'll tell you when it clears."

A man phoned his boss "I need a day off today, something is wrong with my eyes". "What's wrong with your eyes?" asks the boss. "Don't know, but I can't see myself coming into work today".

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately
needed to pass gas. The music was really, really loud, so I timed my
gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee,
and more...

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The United Nations conducted a worldwide survey with one single question:

"Would you please give your opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"

The survey was a huge failure:

* In Latin America, they didn't more...

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We have enough gun control. What we need is idiot control.

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