"The phone call..." joke

The phone call...
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in the morning.
The wife (a blonde), picked up the phone, listened a moment and said,
"How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and hung up.
Curious, the husband said, "Who was that?"
And his lovely wife replies, "I don't any idea who it was.
It was some stupid woman wanting to know "if the coast is clear."

What do you call Napoleon after a bomb has hit him?
Napoleon Blown Apart

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

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I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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