"The Three Things You Need to Survive" joke

A Scout Master was teaching his boy scouts about survival in the desert.
"What are the three most important things you should bring with you in case you
get lost in the desert?" he asked. Several hands went up, and many important
things were suggested such as food, matches, etc.
Then one little boy in the back eagerly raised his hand. "Yes Timmy, what are
the three most important things you would bring with you?" asked the Scout
Master.
Timmy replied, "A compass, a canteen of water, and a deck of cards."
"Why's that, Timmy?"
"Well," answered Timmy, "the compass is to find the right direction, the water
is to prevent dehydration..."
"And what about the deck of cards?" asked the Scout Master impatiently.
"Well, Sir, as soon as you start playing Solitaire, someone is bound to come up
behind you and say, 'Put that red nine on top of that black ten!'"

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

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you need to shut up with your 1 2 3 way back hairline.

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your hairline so far back i thought u went bald in 3rd grade

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Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

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An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...

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