"The Blonde goes a fishing" joke
A blonde wanted to take up a new hobby so decided to take up ice fishing. She got all of the equipment and set off to start her new hobby. She found a piece of ice and cut a small circular hole in it. On went the maggot on then end of her fishing rod and in went the rod into the water. Minutes later a voice came from above which said "there are no fish under the ice!" Confused she moved futher down the patch of ice that she had found. Once again, she cut a small circular hole in to the ice and in went her rod. Once again a booming voice made her jump. "there are no fish under the ice!" Confused she stuttered "God, God is that you?" "No this is not God, this is the manager of the ice rink!"
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
If Ida Lupino married George Wendt, then divorced him to marry Ted Danson, divorced him to marry Alan Alda, then divorced him to marry Ted Knight, and divorced him to marry Shelly Long, she'd be Ida Wendt Danson Alda Knight Long.
If Whoopi Goldberg married Peter Cushing, more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so more...