"Temperance Sermon" joke
A preacher from the deep south was finishing a temperance sermon. "If I had all the beer in the world," he said with expression, "I would take it and pour it into the river."
"And if I had all the wine in the world," he continued, with even greater emphasis, "I would take it and pour it into the river."
And finally, he cried, "And if I had all the whiskey in the world, I would take it and pour it into the river."
Having completed the sermon, he sat down.
At that point, the song leader rose and, with a sheepish grin, cautiously announced, "For our closing, let us sing Hymn #279, 'Shall We Gather At The River'."
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
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