"Stand up nuts!" joke
The recreational director of a mental hospital wanted to take a well
behaved group of inmates to a baseball game. The General Manager of
the club was a little leery of this. When the Recreational Director
said: "If I prove to you how well behaved they are, will you let
them in?" The General Director agreed.
The group of inmates came in and sat down. The Recreational Director
shouted: "Stand up, nuts!" Everyone stood up. "Sit down, nuts!"
Everyone sat down. "Look behind you, nuts!" Everyone turned around.
Pleased with that, the General Manager let them in. About the third
inning or so, he heard a tremendous commotion! People were running
helter skelter. He asked what happened and was told that someone had
called out: "Peanuts!"
A Realtor, driving his buyers around looking at houses, is suddenly pulled over by a policeman. The policeman approaches the Realtor’s car door, and the Realtor says "Is there a problem officer?"
The policeman says, "Sir you were speeding. Can I see your more...
A guy walks into a bar in Argentina. He sees a familiar character, albeit much older now, sitting at the bar. He approaches, examines his face, and asks:
"Excuse me, but aren't you Adolf Hitler?"
"Vy yes, I am Adolf Hitler."
"But I thought more...
An American businessman was at the pier of a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took more...
ONE NIGHT 4 MBA STUDENTS WERE BOOZING TILL LATE NIGHT AND DIDN`T STUDY
FOR THE TEST WHICH WAS SCHEDULED FOR THE NEXT DAY.
IN THE MORNING THEY THOUGHT OF A PLAN. THEY MADE THEMSELVES LOOK AS DIRTY AND WEIRD AS THEY COULD WITH GREASE AND DIRT. THEY THEN WENT UP TO more...
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...