"St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day..." joke
An Australian joke... St Peter is standing at the pearly gates one day when a pair of Abo's stroll up." Your names aren't on today's list... let me go and ask the Boss" he says. In God's office he tells the Big Man all about the two Abo's, and Godtells Peter to go and tell them to fuck right off. St Peter takes his leave. 5 minutes later St Peter runs back into the room and says "they're gone"God says "the Abo's? Good". and St Peter replies... "NO THE PEARLY GATES!!!".
Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol
Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...