"Special Family" joke

A
guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he is amazed
to find the bike in mint condition. He inquires about
it with the owner.
"This bike is beautiful! I'll take it. But you
gotta tell me how you keep it in such good shape.
"Well," says the seller, "it's pretty
simple. Just make sure that if the bike is outside
and it's going to rain, rub Vaseline on the chrome.
It protects it from the rain. In
fact, since you're buying the bike I won't need my
tube of Vaseline anymore. Here, you can have it."
and he hands the buyer a tube of Vaseline.
The guy buys the bike and off he goes, a happy biker.
He takes the bike over to show his girlfriend. She's
ecstatic (being a Harley fan).
That night, he decides to ride the bike over to his
girlfriend's parents' house. It's the first time he's
going to meet them and figures it will make a big
impression. When
the couple gets to the house, the girlfriend grabs
her boyfriend's arm.
"Honey," she says, "I gotta tell you
something about my parents before we go in. When we
eat dinner, we don't talk. In fact, the person who
says anything during dinner has to do the dishes."
"No problem," he says. And in they go.
The boyfriend is astounded. Right smack in the middle
of the living room is a huge stack of dirty dishes.
In the family room, another huge stack of dishes.
Piled up the stairs, dirty dishes. In fact, everywhere
he looks, dirty dishes. They sit down to dinner and,
sure enough, no one says a word.
As dinner progresses, the boyfriend decides to take
advantage of the situation. So he leans over and kisses
his girlfriend. No one says a word. So he decides
to reach over
and fondle her breasts. He looks at her parents, but
still they keep quiet.
So he stands up, grabs his girlfriend, strips her
naked, and they make love right on the dinner table.
Still, no one says a word.
"Her Mom's kinda cute", he thinks. So he
grabs his girlfriend's Mom and has his way with her
right there on the dinner table. Again, total silence.
Then, a few raindrops hit the window and the boyfriend
realizes it's starting to rain. He figures he'd better
take care of the motorcycle, so he pulls the Vaseline
from his
pocket.
Suddenly the father stands up and shouts: "All
right, all right! I'll do the damn dishes."

A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...

57
15

The teacher turns to the class and says, "Today, we will use these three words in a sentence. Defense, detail, and defeat. Tom, why don't you go first?" Tom, a white kid, goes first. Tom says, "Ahh, the football team's defense was detailed in the paper which more...

2
1

Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!

13
6

Two Polish guys are sitting on a park bench, and a bum comes up to them.
"Hey!!" he bellows, in his hoarse voice. "I got a riddle for you two. What has 2 heads, 4 arms, 4 legs, and stinks like SHIT??"
The Polish guys look at each other, and one of more...

7
3

Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one

Michael J. Fox has a short one

Madonna doesn't have one and

Bill Clinton uses his a lot

What is "it"?



A last name!

Now what were you thinking?

10
4
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