"Saturday afternoon quickie" joke

John and Karen thought the only way to pull off a Saturday afternoon quickie was to send their son on the porch and report the daily activities.
The son said, "A red car went down the street... someone got their newspaper... and it looks like the Anderson's are screwing."
Startled John and Karen shot up in bed. His father said, "Why do you say that?"
"Becky is on their porch reporting activities too," he replied.

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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