"Saturday afternoon quickie" joke
John and Karen thought the only way to pull off a Saturday afternoon quickie was to send their son on the porch and report the daily activities.
The son said, "A red car went down the street... someone got their newspaper... and it looks like the Anderson's are screwing."
Startled John and Karen shot up in bed. His father said, "Why do you say that?"
"Becky is on their porch reporting activities too," he replied.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
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