"Sabbath Violator. Morris and Lenny are s..." joke
Sabbath Violator.
Morris and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.
"Well," said Lenny, "I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi."
"Wait a minute," Morris replied. "Didn`t you read that book I lent you, `The Other Side of the Story`, about the command to judge other people favourably? I`ll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving`s behaviour."
"Yeah, like what?"
"Maybe he`s sick and needs to go to the hospital."
"Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he`s healthier than Arnold Schwartzeneger."
"Well, maybe his wife`s having a baby."
"She had one last week."
"Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."
"She`s home."
"Well, maybe he`s running to the hospital to get a doctor."
"He is a doctor."
"Well, maybe he need supplies from the hospital."
"The hospital is a three minute walk in the opposite direction."
"Well, maybe he forgot that it`s Shabbos!"
"Of course he knows it`s Shabbos. Didn`t you see his tie? It was his paisley beige 100% silk Gucci tie from Italy. He never wears it during the week."
"Wow, you`re a really observant! I didn`t even notice he was wearing a tie."
"How could you not notice? Didn`t you see how it was caught on the back fender of the taxi?"
A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?
Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.
Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...
Your mamas so skinny she swallowed a meatball n thought she was pregnant.
A young woman goes into the doctor's office for a checkup. As she takes off her blouse, he notices a red "H" on her chest. "How did you get that mark on your chest?" asks the doctor. "Oh, my boyfriend went to Harvard and he's so proud of it that he never more...
In a crowded city at a crowded bus stop, a beautiful blonde was waiting for the bus. She was decked out in a tight leather mini skirt with matching tight leather boots and jacket. As the bus rolled up and it became her turn to get on, she became aware that her skirt was too more...