"Sabbath Violator. Morris and Lenny are s..." joke

Sabbath Violator.
Morris and Lenny are strolling home from shul one Saturday morning. Suddenly a cab speeds past, and their friend, Irving, is running frantically behind it, flailing his arms wildly.
"Well," said Lenny, "I never imagined our good friend Irving was a Sabbath violator! Look at him running for that taxi."
"Wait a minute," Morris replied. "Didn`t you read that book I lent you, `The Other Side of the Story`, about the command to judge other people favourably? I`ll bet we can think of hundreds of excuses for Irving`s behaviour."
"Yeah, like what?"
"Maybe he`s sick and needs to go to the hospital."
"Come on! He was running 60 miles an hour after that cab - he`s healthier than Arnold Schwartzeneger."
"Well, maybe his wife`s having a baby."
"She had one last week."
"Well, maybe he needs to visit her in the hospital."
"She`s home."
"Well, maybe he`s running to the hospital to get a doctor."
"He is a doctor."
"Well, maybe he need supplies from the hospital."
"The hospital is a three minute walk in the opposite direction."
"Well, maybe he forgot that it`s Shabbos!"
"Of course he knows it`s Shabbos. Didn`t you see his tie? It was his paisley beige 100% silk Gucci tie from Italy. He never wears it during the week."
"Wow, you`re a really observant! I didn`t even notice he was wearing a tie."
"How could you not notice? Didn`t you see how it was caught on the back fender of the taxi?"

Question: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
Answer: Twelve. YOU GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT!?

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June 1st, was just a few short days away. It is a special day since it is the birthday of Rodney's wife, Cathy. Rodney asked his wife, what she'd like for her birthday.

"I'd love to be six again," Cathy replied.

Rodney pondered this for awhile. On more...

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A new soldier, Banta, was on sentry duty at the main gate. His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.
A big Army car came up with a general seated in the back.
Banta said, "Halt, who goes there?"
The more...

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A Sri Lankan is calmly having his breakfast when an American, typically chewing gum, sits down beside him. The Sri Lankan ignores the American who begins to chat:

The American: Do you eat that bread-entirely?
The Sri Lankan: Of course!
The American: We do more...

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Freedom is not the right to do as you please, but the liberty to do as you ought.

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