"Regular naps prevent old age" joke

Your momma is so fat when she fell in the grand canyon she got stuck half way down.

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed

Knock knock?
Who's there?
Howie.
Howie who?
Howie gonna figure this out?

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.