"Regular naps prevent old age" joke

your mamma is so ugly she makes blind kids scared

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

On Christmas morning a cop on horseback is sitting at a traffic light, and next to him is a kid on his brand new bike. The cop says to the kid, "Nice fuking bike you got there. Did Santa bring that to you?" The kid says, "Yeah." The cop says, "Well, next more...

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.