"Opportunity may knock once" joke

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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How many letters are in the alphabet?
There are 11 letters in "THE ALPHABET"
Did you say 26? :)

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A man was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his 5-year-old son standing wide-eyed at the fence, taking in the whole event.
The man thought, "Oh, this is just great... he's only 5 and I'm going to have to start explaining all about the birds and the more...

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During sex last night, my partner whispered in my ear, "Pretend you're my dad."
I was furious.
"You are one sick-minded girl, what a disgusting thing to ask me."
I stormed out of the bedroom and slammed the door.
I mean, you don't expect shit more...

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