"Mexican Status" joke

If you can run and play any sport while wearing chanclas...
MEXICAN...
If your late Tio left you a van and you turned it into a taco vending business,
Yes, you're a Mexican.
If you pronounce words beginning with the letter "S" by putting an "E" in front of it,
(estop instead of stop),
big time Mexican.
If you call a chair, a sher, you got it...
Mexican.
If you have ever hurt yourself and your mamacita rubbed the area while chanting,
"Sana, Sana, Colita de rana... "
You're Mexican, big time!!!
If you have your last name in old English lettering anywhere on your
car, truck, or tattooed on your back,
Yes! you ARE a Mexican (proud one too!)
If you refer to your wife as your ruca, your hina, your wifa, your old lady,
or your vieja, guess what?
Not only are you a Mexican, you're a cholo...
If you throw a "Grito" everytime you hear Vicente Fernandez,
then not only are you a Mexican, you are a drunk Mexican.
If you have ever been pinched in church and been told
"pobrecito de ti si lloras" or "vas a ver orita que salgamos"
Yes, you're definitely a Mexican.
If you grew up being called "chamaca or chamaco"...
Mexican.
If you grew up scared of La Llorona or with a fear of the dark because of El Cucuy,
Yes! Mexican!
Si te persinas with a lotto ticket in your hand before every drawing.
You're in the Mexican Zone!!!
If you ask for something by "dame esa chingadera" instead of calling it by its name,
Yup! Mexican!
If you constantly refer to cereal as "con fleys" or cake as "kay-ke",
You're Mexican!
If you use manteca instead of vegetable oil and can't figure out why your butt is getting bigger...
You ARE a Mexican.
If you have some Tias that dress up in their prom dresses to go to a birthday party at "el parque",
You are a Mexican.
If your Tias and Abuela dress up in their Sunday best with heels and all to go to the "pulga."(AKA the Flea Market)
Then, yes, you are a Mexican.
If most of the houses on your block are painted bright pink, mint green and lavendar,
Mexican!
If you use the bushes in front of your house, the fence or the top of an old car to dry laundry,
Yes, you're a Mexican.
If you're congested and your mamacita rubbed "Bicks",
you're Mexican.
IF YOU DON'T NEED ANY EXPLANATIONS FOR ANY OF THE ABOVE, YOU KNOW THAT
YOU ARE A TRUE MEXICAN.

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