"Message to Mom" joke

This blonde goes to the Western Union office and says, "I just have to get an urgent message to my mother in Europe."
The clerk says it will be $100, and she replies "But I don't have any money... and I *must* get a message to her, it's urgent!... I'll do anything to get a message to her."
The clerk replies "Anything?"
"Yes... ANYTHING!" replies the blonde.
He leads her back to his office and closes the door. He tells her to kneel in front of him. "Unzip me..."
She does.
"Take it out... go ahead."
She does this as well.
She looks up at him, his member in her hands and he says "Well... go ahead.. do it.."
She brings her lips close to it and shouts "Hello?... Mom?"

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

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You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.

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