"Mental Patient - how did you get here?" joke

A physician visited a California mental institution and asked a patient "How did you get here? What is the nature of your illness?"
He got this reply.
"It started when I got married and I guess I should never have done it. I got hitched to a widow with a grown daughter who then became my stepdaughter.
My Daddy came to visit us, fell in love with my lovely stepdaughter, then married her. And so my stepdaughter was now my stepmother.
Soon my wife had a son who was, of course, my daddy's brother-in-law since he is the half-brother of my stepdaughter, who is now, of course, my daddy's wife. So as I told you, when stepdaughter married my daddy, she was at once, my stepmother. Now since my new son is brother to my stepmother, he also became my uncle.
As you know, my wife is my step grand-mother since she is my stepmother's mother. (Don't forget that my stepmother is my stepdaughter.) Remember, too, that I am my wife's grandson.
But hold on just a few minutes more. you see, since I'm married to my step grand-mother, I am not only the wife's grandson and her hubby, but I am also my own grandfather.
Now can you understand how I got put in this place?"
Rainy WWW

One day a priest had a doctor's appointment and needed someone to cover for him at the confessional, so he calls over an old school chum of his who happens to be a rabbi.
The rabbi had no idea what to do but agreed to cover for the priest. The priest needed to show the rabbi more...

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A Texan walks into a pharmacy and wanders up and down the aisles... The salesgirl notices him and asks him if she can help him. He answers that he is looking for a box of tampons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.
A few minutes later, he deposits a huge more...

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A man wonders if having sex on the Sabbath is a sin because he is not sure if sex is work or play.
He asks a priest for his opinion on this question. After consulting the Bible, the priest says "My son, after an exhaustive search I am positive sex is work and is not more...

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Mick and Moe were arrested for smoking dope; they appeared in court on Friday. After hearing the charges against them, the judge said, "You seem like nice young men.... and this is your first offense. I'm going to give you both a second chance. Rather than wasted time in more...

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A client who felt his legal bill was too high asked his lawyer to itemize costs. The statement included this item:
"Was walking down the street and saw you on the other side. Walked to the corner to cross at the light, crossed the street and walked quickly to catch up more...

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