"Lifestyles of Men and Women" joke

Women's Lifestyles Through the AgesAGE... DRINK17... Winecoolers25... White wine35... Red wine48... Dom Perignon66... Shot of Jack with an Ensure chaserEXCUSES FOR REFUSING DATES17... Need to wash my hair25... Need to wash and condition my hair 35... Need to color my hair48... Need to have Francois color my hair66... Need to have Francois color my wigFAVORITE SPORT17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingFAVORITE DRUG17... shopping25... shopping35... shopping48... shopping66... shoppingDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE17... "Burger King"25... "Free meal"35... "A diamond"48... "A bigger diamond"66... "Home Alone"FAVORITE FANTASY17... tall, dark and handsome25... tall, dark and handsome with money35... tall, dark and handsome with money and a brain 48... a man with hair66... a manHOUSE PET17... Muffy the cat25... Unemployed boyfriend and Muffy the Cat35... Irish setter and Muffy the Cat48... Children from his first marriage and Muffy theCat 66... Retired husband who dabbles in taxidermy and stuffs Muffy the CatWHAT'S THE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED? 17... 17 25... 2535... 3548... 4866... 66IDEAL DATE17... He offers to pay25... He pays35... He cooks breakfast the next morning48... He cooks breakfast the next morning for the kids 66... He can chew breakfast~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Men's Lifestyles Through the AgesDRINK at age... 17... Beer25... Beer35... Scotch48... Double scotch66... MaaloxSEDUCTION LINE at age... 17... My parents are away for the weekend. 25... My girlfriend is away for the weekend. 35... My fiancee is away for the weekend. 48... My wife is away for the weekend. 66... My second wife is dead. FAVORITE SPORT at age... 17... Sex25... Sex35... Sex48... Sex66... NappingFAVORITE DRUG at age... 17... Pot25... Cocaine35... Really good cocaine48... Power66... AdvilDEFINITION OF A SUCCESSFUL DATE at age... 17... Cop a feel25... Breakfast35... She didn't set back my therapy 48... I didn't bump into her kids. 66... An actual erectionFAVORITE FANTASY at age... 17... Thirdbase25... Airplane sex35... Menage a trois48... Taking her company public66... Swiss maid and/or Nazi love slaveHOUSE PET at age... 17... Roaches (to be burned later)25... Old college roommate35... Irish setter48... Children from her first marriage 66... BarbiTHE IDEAL AGE TO GET MARRIED at age... 17... 2525... 3535... 4848... 6666... 17IDEAL DATE at age... 17... Triple Stephen King feature at a drive-in 25... Split the check before we go back to my place 35... Just come over48... Just come over and cook66... Sex in the company jet on the way to Vegas to see Frank

comments (0)