"Letters of support for Clinton" joke

Clinton's mail:

Dear Bill:

As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.

Jimmy Carter

Dear Bill:

OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a fox!

Gary Hart

My Dear Chap:

This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.

Hugh Grant


They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you!

Mayor Marion Berry

Dear Bill:

Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on TV for the fall.

Marv Albert

Dear Mr. President:

You may have noticed that I'm not jumping on the impeachment bandwagon. Let me assure you, you're not the only one in Congress who thinks oral sex isn't really sex.

* Warm personal regards,
* Newt

Dear Bill:

Hang in there, pal! By the way, Kathie Lee sends Hillary her regards and invites her to come on her show anytime.

Frank Gifford

Dear Mr. President:

Now I'm on the Supreme Court. I'm here for life! And there's nothing anyone can do about it! So there!

Justice Clarence Thomas

Dear Former Worthy Opponent:

Whoo, Boy! All I can say is, Bob Dole would never have gotten himself into this mess. Not Bob Dole! Not before Viagra, anyway!

Bob Dole

Dear Mr. President:

I think it's terrible what they are doing to you, and I want you to know that if you need to get away from it all, you're welcome to bring Buddy and stay with me on my Wonderland Ranch for as long as you want. I'll move the Cub Scout Pack to a tent on the lawn and you can have their room.

Michael Jackson

Dear Fellow Sinner:

Jesus forgives you and so do I.

Rev. Jimmy Swaggart

Dear Bill:

Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.

Jim Bakker

P.S. Jessica sends regards and wants to get together with you sometime.

Dear Bill:

Next time (if there is a next time), don't let them get you on tape. Big mistake!!

With sympathy,
Rob Lowe

Dear Bill:

Things were grim for a while, but now it looks like I might actually manage to marry my darling Camilla, and someday I'll be King! Funny how life turns out.

So keep a stiff upper lip! (And relax everything else, ha ha! And they say I don't have a sense of humor).

As we British say, keep your pecker up!

HRH Charles Windsor, Prince of Wales

Dear Mr. President,

We invite you to be the cover subject of our next issue.

Editor, Cigar magazine

Dear Bill:

Congratulations on your impeccable moral leadership of the nation. You are a shining example to us all. Could you and Hillary join us for dinner next Tuesday? We plan to invite the Nixons and Agnews as well.


Ronald Reagan

Two buddies Bob and Earl were two of the biggest baseball fans in America. For their entire adult lives, Bob and Earl discussed baseball history in the winter and they pored over every box score during the season. They went to 60 games a year. They even agreed that whoever died more...

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