Regards Jokes

Clinton's mail:

Dear Bill:

As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.

Jimmy Carter
----------------------

Dear Bill:

OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a fox!

Gary Hart
----------------------

My Dear Chap:

This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.

Hugh Grant
----------------------

Bill:

They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you!

Mayor Marion more...

Billy's Letters
The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column: Dear Mr. Dvorak:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain.
It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a good, normal ten year old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing, games, singing by the campfire - you know. There were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps and camps that specialized in Tibetan knot tying.
I tried to talk him into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went last year. (He made an adorable picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have none of it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP!
We should have put our foot down right there, more...

Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, is never
lazy. He's always
hard at work in his cubicle. Bob is always
working independently, without
wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never
thinks twice about assisting fellow employees.
He is great.
His assignments are always
on time, never
late.
You should hire him.
Often, Bob skips
his coffee breaks to compelte his
work.
He has worked dillegently.
Bob is an individual who has absolutely no
vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and
knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be classified as worthy employee, and cannot be
dispensed with.
Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob should be
promoted, and a proposal will be
executed as soon as possible.
Regards,
Project Leader
KEEP READING...
Shortly thereafter, the HR department received the following memo from the Project Leader:
Sorry, but that idiot was reading over more...

Dear Bill:
As a fellow Southern Baptist, I can sympathize with your predicament. Although when I was president I merely lusted in my heart, I have to admit that had I served another term, my lust might have broken free and moved down my body. God bless you in this time of trial.
-- Jimmy Carter Dear Bill:
OK, so I'll never be president, but at least Donna Rice was a babe!
-- Gary Hart My Dear Chap:
This is a bit of a sticky wicket, but if I were you, I should ask that charming Jay Leno fellow to see you through. Pop onto his show, admit that you made an ass of yourself and all will be forgiven.
-- Hugh Grant Bill:
They entrapped me, they framed me, they caught me in a motel with drugs and a prostitute, but I bounced back and so can you! Bitch done set us up!
-- Mayor Marion Berry Dear Bill:
Look at the bright side. At least you weren't caught wearing Monica's thong underwear. By the way, did you catch my sports show? I'm back on TV for the more...

The following appeared in a computer magazine in Mr. Dvorak's column:
Dear Mr. Dvorak:
Ann Landers wouldn't print this. I have nowhere else to turn. I have to get the word out. Warn other
parents. I must be rambling on. Let me try and explain. It's about my son, Billy. He's always been a
good, normal ten year old boy. Well, last spring we sat down after dinner to select a summer camp for
Billy. We sorted through the camp brochures. There were the usual camps with swimming, canoeing,
games, singing by the campfire -- you know.
There were sports camps and specialty camps for weight reduction, music, military camps and camps
that specialized in Tibetan knot tying. I tried to talk him into Camp Winnepoopoo. It's where he went
last year. (He made an adorable picture out of painted pinto beans and macaroni). Billy would have
none of it. Billy pulled a brochure out of his pocket. It was for a COMPUTER CAMP! We should have put
our foot more...