"Know It All" joke
It was the first day of school and a new student, the son of a Japanese businessman, Toshiba, entered the fourth grade.
The teacher greeted the class and said, "Let's begin by reviewing some American history." Who said "Give me Liberty,or give me death?"
She saw only a sea of blank faces, except for that of Toshiba, who had his hand up. "Patrick Henry, 1775," said the boy.
"Now," said the teacher, "who said' Government of the people, by the people, for the people shall not perish from the earth?"
Again, no response except from Toshiba: "Abraham Lincoln, 1863."
The teacher snapped at the class, "You should be ashamed. Toshiba, who is new to our country, knows more about it than you do."
As she turned to write something on the blackboard, she heard a loud whisper: "Damned Japanese."
"Who said that?" she demanded.
Toshiba put his hand up. "Lee Iacocca, 1982," he said.
At that point, feeling completely disgusted by Toshiba's classroom superiority, a student in the back sighed, "I'm gonna throw up."
Teacher says "Who said that?".
Again, Toshiba raises his hand and says "George Bush to Japanese Prime Minister, 1991."
Now furious, another student yells, "Oh yeah? Well, suck my...."
Once again, it's Toshiba with the answer, "Bill Clinton, to Monica Lewinsky, 1997."
A man goes out and buys the best car available in the US or Europe, a 2001 Turbo BeepBeep. It is the best and most expensive car in the world, and it runs him $500, 000. He takes it out for a spin and, while doing so, stops for a red light. An old man on a moped, both looking more...
EMPLOYEE PERFORMANCE EVALUATION
Date ____________________
Name _____________________
Department ________________________
Title _____________________________
Supervisor _________________________
KNOWLEDGE
1. This s.o.b. really knows his shit!
2. more...
A story is told of a Jewish man who was riding on the subway reading an Arab newspaper. A friend of his, who happened to be riding in the same subway car, noticed this strange phenomenon. Very upset, he approached the newspaper reader.
"Moshe, have you lost your mind? more...
A man is in court. The Judges says,"on the 3rd August you are accused of killing your wife by beating her to death with a hammer, how do you plead?"
"Guilty", said the man in the dock.
At this point a man at the back of the court stood up and shouted more...
Fireman John rushed into a burning building and rescued a beautiful young lady who was clad only in the top half of her baby-doll nightgown.
He carried her in his arms down three flights of stairs and saved her from her sure demise.
As they arrived safely, a wash of more...