"Knock Knock - UB40" joke

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

your momas so fat when she stepped on the scale it said new high score.