"Just Like Mother" joke
Manny was almost 29 years old. Most of his friends had already gotten
married, and Manny just bounced from one relationship to the next. Finally a friend asked him, "What's the matter, are you looking for
the perfect woman? Are you THAT particular? Can't you find anyone
who suits you?" "No," Manny replied. "I meet a lot of nice girls, but as soon as I
bring them home to meet my parents, my mother doesn't like them. So I
keep on looking!" "Listen," his friend suggested, "Why don't you find a girl who's just
like your dear ole Mother?" Many weeks past before Manny and his friend got together again. "So Manny. Did you find the perfect girl yet? One that's just like
your Mother?" Manny shrugged his shoulders, "Yes I found one just like Mom.
My mother loved her, they became great friends." "Excellent!!! So,... Are you and this girl engaged, yet?" "I'm afraid not. My Father can't stand her!"
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!