"Jewish Mother Joke" joke

And it came to pass that an openly Jewish man was elected to be President of the United States of America.

So he calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down to Washington DC to share the Passover Holliday.

She says,' I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd...'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab; I'll send a limo for you!'

To which his mother replies,' I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble.'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One or another of my private jets for you.

To which she replies,' Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble.'

He replies,' Mom!! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a finger'

She answers,' Yes, that's nice... but, you know, I still need a hotel room, and the rooms are so expensive, and I really don't like the rooms...'

He answers,' Mom! I'm the President! You'll stay at the White House!'

She responds,' Well... all right... I guess I'll come.'

The next day, she's on the phone with her friend Betty.

Betty:' Hello, Sylvia. . . so what's new?'

Sylvia:' I'm visiting my son for Passover!'

Betty:' The doctor?'

Sylvia:' No. . . the other one.'

BROWN: Hey kids! Is half of your head shaved? Do you have a nose ring? Are you terribly progressive and do you have a lot of empathy? Are you sick and tired of silly things like grades and majors? COME TO BROWN!
COLUMBIA: Hey kids! Do you like Harlem? Do you like commuters? more...

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Never squat with yer spurs on. There's two theories to arguin' with a woman; neither one works. Don't worry about bitin' off more than you can chew, your mouth is probably a whole lot bigger'n you think. If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' more...

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Mister Smith rushes into the maternity ward, "What's wrong? What's the emergency?""Oh, Mister Smith, your child was just born and I have someterrible news for you. It's disfigured.""Well, how bad is it? Can I see?""Follow me, sir."They more...

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Anthony's Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner or the workshop. Corollary: On the way to the corner, any dropped tool will first always strike your toes.

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Snow in Goa

by
Udayan

A Punjabi Bibi (wife) goes on Vacation to Goa. There she meets a Big Black Dravidian Man from Malabar. Overawed by his musculature, she invites him to her bed that night. By the next morning the Aryan Bibi has had the best sex of her entire life. Impressed, she asks him his more...

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