"Jewish Mother Joke" joke

And it came to pass that an openly Jewish man was elected to be President of the United States of America.

So he calls his mother in Queens and invites her to come down to Washington DC to share the Passover Holliday.

She says,' I'd like to, but it's so much trouble... I mean, I have to get a cab to the airport, and I hate waiting on Queens Blvd...'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President! You won't need a cab; I'll send a limo for you!'

To which his mother replies,' I know, but then I'll have to get my ticket at the airport, and try to get a seat on the plane, and I hate to sit in the middle... it's just too much trouble.'

He replies,' Mom! I'm the President of the United States! I'll send Air Force One or another of my private jets for you.

To which she replies,' Oh, well, but then when we land, I'll have to carry my luggage through the airport, and try to get a cab... it's really too much trouble.'

He replies,' Mom!! I'm the President! I'll send a helicopter for you! You won't have to lift a finger'

She answers,' Yes, that's nice... but, you know, I still need a hotel room, and the rooms are so expensive, and I really don't like the rooms...'

He answers,' Mom! I'm the President! You'll stay at the White House!'

She responds,' Well... all right... I guess I'll come.'

The next day, she's on the phone with her friend Betty.

Betty:' Hello, Sylvia. . . so what's new?'

Sylvia:' I'm visiting my son for Passover!'

Betty:' The doctor?'

Sylvia:' No. . . the other one.'

My wife's jealousy is getting ridiculous. The other day she looked at my calendar and wanted to know who May was.

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Boy: Did it hurt?
Girl: Did what hurt?
Boy: When you fell from heaven.
Girl: Aww, did it hurt when you got kicked out of hell?
Boy: If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put U and I together.
Girl: Really? If I could rearrange the alphabet, I would put F more...

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Ole and Sven went fishing one summer and decided to rent a boat from the resort instead of fishing from the shore. They rowed out a ways and started to fish. They caught one fish after the other. Ole says to Sven, "I wish we could mark this spot. It’s the best fishing more...

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q. What’s the gallbladder’s favorite band?
a. The Rolling Stones.

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all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol

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