"I've wanted to run away from home" joke

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Your Mama so fat when she got hit by a bus she said... "Who threw that rock?"

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.