"I've wanted to run away from home" joke

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

All the so-called "secrets of success" will not work unless you do.

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...