"In line for heaven" joke
"Alright, everyone," St. Peter says, "You men, form two lines - one line for the men who dominated their women on earth, and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women."
They do as they are told. Peter looks up and sees that the line of men who were dominated by their women is 100 miles long. In the line of men who dominated their women, there was only one man.
Peter is mad. "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. God created you in His image and you were all whipped by your mates. Only one of you has made God proud during your journey on earth. Learn from him!"
Then, addressing the solitary man, Peter says, "Tell the rest how you managed to be the only one in this line."
"I'm not sure," the man says. "My wife told me to stand here."
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Q: What do a Christmas tree and a priest have in common?
A: Their balls are just for decoration.
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.