"I'm schizophrenic" joke

I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Once upon a time, there lived a man who had a terrible passion for baked beans.
He loved them, but they always had an embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction
on him. One day he met a girl and fell in love. When it was apparent that they
would marry, he thought to more...

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Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.

Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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Three men were all applying for the same job as a detective. One was Polish, one was Jewish, and one was Italian. Rather than ask the standard questions during the interview, the chief decided to ask each applicant just one question and base his decision upon that more...

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Rachel:This joke is Not written the right way Nor is the name. It is Shut up, Manners, and Crap.
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Anonymous:Ctfu ! Ive Been Looking For This Joke !
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Anonym:Well, it's technically wrong. You don't have several identities if you're schizophrenic, that disorder is dissociative identity disorder.
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Alex:Simple and very funny!
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Kimberly C:This one makes me laugh everytime!
Funny Joke? 73 vote(s). 68% are positive. 6 comment(s).