"If your feet smell and your nose" joke

If your feet smell and your nose runs, you're built upside down.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

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A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...

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Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?

A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again

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