"I don't blame Congress" joke

I don't blame Congress. If I had $600 billion, I'd be irresponsible too.

The best way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.

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A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

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Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

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Regular naps prevent old age..... especially if you take them while driving.

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Bosses are like legs... When they get to the top, they become asses.

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