"How to tell if your Viagra is working" joke
How to Tell if Your Viagra is Working
At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats.
The paleness of your face (because of the lack of blood) - It's all you-know-where.
You begin to look at the dog with interest.
You fall naked and face down on the beach and the point comes out in New Zealand.
They confuse you with the duracell bunny.
When you come into a sauna, everyone stands up and applauds.
You begin to think that your mother-in-law is pretty.
You no longer need the TV remote control.
You killed a passer-by with a button that flew off your new Levis.
If you die, they won't be able to close your coffin for three days.
They begin to call you "the tripod."
The butchers look for you because they ran out of peperoni.
You go out to sunbathe nude and (if you're standing) the birds perch on it to rest, or (if you're lying down) you look like a sundial.
When you go camping all you bring is the canvas, but you leave the tent poles behind.
Everyone lets you get in line in front of him or her in the bank, the supermarket, etc.
Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar, compared with you.
When you go to the kitchen in the middle of the night, you can carry the glass of milk, the cookies, the napkins, the plate, and other things that you couldn't before using just 2 hands.
You always lose limbo contests.
Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.
You can make drawings in the sand at the beach without having to look for a stick.
You had them take down the ceiling fan in the bedroom because you like to sleep on your back.
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend and a husband?
A: 45 minutes
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
A guy walks into a bar, orders a beer and says to the bartender, "Hey, I got this great Polish Joke..." The barkeep glares at him and says in a warning tone of voice: "Before you go telling that joke you better know that I'm Polish, both bouncers are Polish and so more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
As Mr. Smith was on his death bed, he attempted to formulate a plan that would allow him to take at least some of his considerable wealth with him. He called for the three men he trusted most-his lawyer, his doctor, and his clergyman. He told them, "I'm going to give you more...