"Grandpa, s heart atack" joke

once there was a little boy at the hospital because his grandpa had a heartattack.
litlle boy: grandma how did gramps have his heart atack
grams: well me and grandpa still do it
littleboy: ok
grams: so when we do it we do it to the church bells
little boy: ok
grams: whin the church bells go ding grandpa goes in and when the church bell goes dong grandpa comes out
little boy: oh ok
grams: but the ice cream truck went by and they went ding! ding! ding! ding! ding! and grandpa was trying to keep up.
little boy: oh

An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...

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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

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A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...

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A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!

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