"Ghetto Math Proficiency Exam" joke

City of New York, Borough of Bronx
High School Math Proficiency Exam
Name:____________________ Gang:_________________
1. Darnel has an AK-47 with a 40-round clip. If he shoots 13 times during each drive-by shooting and misses 6 out of 10 shots, how many drive by shootings can he attempt before he has to reload?
2. Jose has 2 ounces of cocaine, and he sells an 8-ball to Jackson for $320 and 2 grams to Little Mikey for $85 per gram. What is the street value of the balance of cocaine if he does not cut it?
3. Rufus is pimping 3 girls. If the price is $65 for each trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so Rufus can pay for his $800 per day crack habit?
4. Dino wants to cut his half-pound of heroin to make a 20% profit. How many ounces of cut will he need?
5. Willis gets $200 for stealing a BMW, $50 for a Chevy and $100 for a 4x4. If he has stolen 2 BMWs and 3 4x4s, how many Chevys will he have to steal to make $800?
6. Raoul is in prison for 6 years for murder. He got $10,000 for performing the hit. If his common law wife is spending $100 per month, how much will be left when he gets out of prison, and how many years will he get for killing the bitch for spending his money?
7. If the average spray can covers 22 square feet and the average letter is 2 square feet, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
8. Hector knocked up 6 of the girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the gang. What percentage of the girls has Hector knocked up?

All you want for Christmas is a hairline!

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A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

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FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...

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