"Get out of my Segway" joke

Segway Inc. is recalling all 23,500 of the self-balancing scooters it has shipped to date because of a recently discovered software glitch and not because of it's widley known, original glitch....

Turning regular human beings into giant douche bags.

Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.

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Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes more...

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What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot you racist.

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Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed

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Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.

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