"Elderly woman with a farting problem" joke
An elderly woman went to the doctor's office for a check up.
The doctor asked if she had any problems. The woman said that she had a terrible farting problem, but they were silent & didn't smell. In fact she had farted at least 10 times since she had been in the office, but as they were silent & didn't smell he wouldn't have known.
The doctor listened to her story and then gave her a prescription for some pills. He told her to take these for a week and then come back to see him.
1 week later the elderly woman returned to the doctor's office and complained "I don't know what you did but those pills you gave me have got my wind smelling awful, mind you they are still silent but boy do they stink!"
The doctor replied, "Good, now that your sinuses are cleared up we will work on improving your hearing!"
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.
An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get more...
Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!
Q. What is the difference between a drug dealer and a hooker?
A. A hooker can wash her crack and sell it again