"Dumb Pick up lines" joke

All those curves, and me with no brakes.
Are your legs tired? You've been running through my mind all day long.
Bond. James Bond.
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call my mom and tell I just met the girl of my dreams.
Can I borrow a quarter? I want to call your mother and thank her.
Can I buy you a car?
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?
Can I flirt with you?
Can I have directions to your heart?
Can I have your phone number? I seem to have lost mine.
Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?
Do you have a quarter? My mother told me to call home when I met the girl of my dreams.
Do you know what'd look good on you? Me.
Do you like apples? How about I take you home and screw the hell out of you, how'd you like them apples?
Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I?
Do you take it up the ass?
Do you want to go out for a pizza and a screw? What, don't you like pizza?
Forget that. Playing doctor is for kids. Let's play gynecologist.
Hi, do you know why you should masturbate with these two fingers? Because they're mine.
I may not be Fred Flintstone, but I bet I can make your Bed Rock.
Roses are red, violets are blue, I like spaghetti, let's go screw
Screw me if I'm wrong, but don't you want to kiss me?
Screw me if I'm wrong, but is your name Yolanda?
Sex is a killer, so do you want to die happy?
That shirt looks very becoming on you, but if I were on you, I'd be coming too.
Want to screw like bunnies?
I think we must make love on the front lawn like crazed weasels now.

"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

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Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

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Q: How many retarded Italian gardeners does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One, but don't expect results.

Q: How many European ballet dancers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, they like Danzig in the dark.

Q: How many Mafia more...

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Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.

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James Bond: "My name is Bond" Continuing in his inimitable style, "... James Bond."
Then Bond asks: "And you?"
Telugu Guy: "My name is Rao...
Siva Rao...
Samba Siva Rao...
Venkata Samba Siva Rao...
Yarlagadda Venkata more...

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