"Dumb Laws - Florida" joke

If an elephant is left tied to a parking meter, the parking fee has to be paid just as it would for a vehicle.

You may not fart in a public place after 6 P.M. on Thursdays. It is considered an offense to shower naked. You are not allowed to break more than three dishes per day, or chip the edges of more than four cups and/or saucers. Women may be fined for falling asleep under a hair dryer, as can the salon owner. A special law prohibits unmarried women from parachuting on Sunday or she shall risk arrest, fine, and/or jailing. It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Men may not be seen publicly in any kind of strapless gown. It is illegal to skateboard without a license. Penalty for horse theft is death by hanging. It is illegal to block any traveled wagon road. In Florida it is illegal to fish while driving across a bridge.In Florida failure to tell your neighbor his house is on fire is illegal.Florida law forbids rats to leave the ships docked in Tampa Bay. Cape Coral: It is against the city ordinance to hang your clothes outside on a clothesline. Cape Coral: It it illegal to park a pick-up truck in your driveway or in front of your house on the street (This law is limited to only those who do not own the house) Daytona Beach: The molestation of trash cans is banned. Daytona Beach: While intoxicated, being under influence of narcotics is prohibited.Daytona Beach: It shall be unlawful for any person to swim or bathe in that portion of the Atlantic Ocean within the corporate limits of the city when under the influence of intoxicating liquor or narcotic drugs to the extent that his or her normal faculties are impaired.Hialeah: Ambling and strolling is a misdemeanor. Key West: Chickens are considered a' protected species'. Miami: It is forbidden to imitate an animal.Miami: No person shall operate a bicycle unless it is equipped with a bell or device capable of giving a signal audible for a distance of at least 100 feet, but no bicycle shall be equipped with, nor shall any person use upon a bicycle, any siren or whistle. Pensacola: Citizens may not be caught downtown without at least 10 dollars on their person; Pensacola: It is illegal to roll a barrel on any street, fines go up according to the contents of the barrel. Pensacola: A women can be fined (only after death), for being electrocuted in a bath-tub because of using self-beautification utensils. Pinecrest: In order to operate a burglar alarm, a permit must be obtained. Sarasota: If you hit a pedestrian you are fined $78.00Sarasota: It is illegal to sing in a public place while attired in a swimsuit. Sarasota: You may not catch crabs. Tampa Bay: It is illegal to eat cottage cheese on Sunday after 6:00 P.M.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!


A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...


all we need to do is put a flashlight to your hairline then we will get the batmat symbol


Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Venice who?
Venice your mother coming home?


I was a new Army basic trainee at Fort McClellan and one requirement was a
demanding 12-mile march. We got started at 6 a.m. and were pumped up for the trek.
An hour later, feeling the heavy load of our packs, we wondered if the end would
ever come. “Men,” our more...

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