"Dr,, I think my dog is dead" joke

A man took his dog to the Vet. He said, "Dr,, I think my dog is dead."
The Vet told him to put the dog on the table and then left the room. Soon he came back with a cat. The cat sniffed the dogs ears, his nose and then walked all over him.
The Vet said "Yep, your dog is dead. That will be $500 and 35 dollars."
The man said, "$500 and 35 dollars! What for?"
The Vet said, "$35 for the office visit and $500 for the cat scan."

A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed more...

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A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!
The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"
The more...

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Your mama is so fat when she fell over she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.

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Verizon Wireless has announced plans to offer full-length television shows for customers to watch on their cell phone.

I don’t know about this. Don’t we have a enough trouble driving while on the cell phone already? Now, soon you’ll be in the car, watching an more...

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A young girl is walking up the stairs in a church just as the priest is walking by. He looks up and is shocked to see the girl isn't wearing any panties.
He calls to the girl, gives her $25 and says, "Young lady, it's not proper to walk around without any panties on. more...

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