"Dishonest one and his beard" joke

An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get more...

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.

Q: What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?
A: You can un-screw a lightbulb!

Why does a blond wear a tight skirt?
To keep her legs closed